“As in childhood, they become fixated on one person, whom they see as their sole source of well-being. They transfer this desperate attitude to their relationships, believing all of their nourishment can be provided by one person only: their particular mate” – Zen and the Art of Falling in Love.
This sole reliance on your partner is not only childish, but I also think very unfair to them. It’s a lot of pressure to put on one person: you need to be everything to me at every time. It’s a super human feat that no one is capable of. At least, I’m not capable of doing it and I have yet to meet someone who is capable of it. What I also think is important is being able to do things separately. Not only does your partner not share all of your hobbies (never has Andrew shown much interest in RPG gaming or crochet), but I think it’s important to be separate individuals. That takes a lot of pressure off.
For example, I’m travelling without Andrew next month. And yet, when I talk about this, people are surprised. What is so shocking about that? Sure, if it was easy and affordable we’d go together. But the reality is that we don’t have limitless supplies of cash, and we have a dog, and a daughter. Logistics are sometimes too complicated for us to throw caution to the wind and go traipsing around the world. Also, there is nothing wrong with one of us having an adventure without the other. We’ll come home with good stories.
Plus, he travels a lot for work, so sometimes it’s nice comeuppance for me to leave him keeping the home fires burning while I galavant about the globe. And it’s good for us to have different adventures. Keeps things fresh.
Jacket – Chasing Unicorns
Top – Garage via Value Village *thrifted*
Jeans – Driftwood via ModCloth
Bag – Muche et Muchette via Winners
Necklace – Monserat de Lucca via Beau and Bauble in The Junction