Mamahood Exposed: Introduction

My journey as a Mama has been an eventful one.  Sometimes it’s been really hard and I wanted anything to take it all back, and sometimes it’s been really wonderful and I couldn’t get enough.  There are good days and bad days, and all sorts of days in between.  And tomorrow I’m starting a series where every few days Mamas of all walks of life will share their thoughts, experiences, and journey….their stories.  It’s called Mamahood Exposed.

I was tired of reading all the Mama bloggers out there who always have such wonderful things to say.  They seem to have the perfect lives: they have angelic children, make gourmet cupcakes, run a business, have the perfect marriage, fly, leap tall buildings in a single bound and do it all without a hair out of place.  It made me wonder what was I doing wrong?  How could I suck this much at it?  I love my baby but what the heck is this secret that these women have?  Then I realized it’s not a secret, it’s editing.

They just don’t mention the crappy parts like the time you’re crying in the shower because you’re just overwhelmed by it all, or the time you wonder how long it’s legal to ignore your crying baby in a crib ’cause you just want some more sleep this time, or the stresses in any relationship caused by the massive responsibility of parenting.  No one talks about that.  They just blog about the delicious roast chicken that night, not the fact that the roast chicken ended up being thrown on the floor by a frustrated mama or frustrated toddler – take your pick.

So here’s a  a series from open, honest and vulnerable women.  Women who are amazing mothers, and amazing people, and who sometimes suck at it too.  Because the truth is no one gets it right all the time, and the sooner we say it’s okay to have days that suck, and it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to get it wrong, the better we’ll all be.

Some of the stories are light and some are heavy, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles, but all are honest, all give you a glimpse into the woman, and all are unique. I hope you enjoy it.

To the women who have contributed, and who continue to contribute, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for trusting me with your story.

You amaze me.

Funny Face?

Top – Jacob; Sweater & Earrings – F21; Velvet Pants – Le Chateau; Socks – Calvin Klein; Shoes – Payless.

The movie Funny Face has been on my mind, so much so that I felt compelled to echo the spirit of Audrey Hepburn from the beatnik cafe scene.  She’s such an iconic figure in terms of beauty and fashion, but what I always think about is that she broke the mold of the time. She was a former ballerina with a very boyish figure in a time when every woman was aspiring to the curves of Monroe.  Hepburn’s beauty was not in chic, she was elfish and boyish, but her appeal was undeniable.

When I consider things like fashion trends, and standards of beauty I think of her and how her confidence and unique beauty shone through despite the critiques of her contemporaries and she became an icon for generations.  So I always think that though it may not be in ‘chic’, who knows who the next Hepburn will be. 

True Story:
Last night I worked a night shift hosting Movieola, so I needed coffee. 
I stood in front of the automated espresso machine at work and pushed the ‘on’ button.  
It asked me to push another button.  I did.  And another.  And another.  
Six buttons later, I’m begging the machine to please stop messing with me and just give me my espresso! It’s so high-maintenance and demanding.  
I just want my espresso.
Please.
Pretty please?

Random Sundays: Baby Mornings

I’m crying!  Heeeeeello I’m crying!  When is someone going to come get me?  I’m not going back to sleep, I’m up and I want you to com get me!!  It’s Elmo time!

Finally, he comes into my room to get me, she’s probably still sleeping.  Sheesh.

Okay seriously Dad, what do you think you’re doing?  Would you like to be plunked down on a cold futon and have your pants taken off first thing in the morning?  Dude, it’s cold!  I don’t want my bum changed, I don’t care if I’m soaking wet.  It’s cold and I don’t…seriously??  Now you’re taking off the rest of my cozy PJs, are you nuts?!?!  No I don’t want to get changed.  No I don’t want to put on cold clothes, what was wrong with those?  Fine.  You suck.  I’m going to suck my thumb and give you a dirty look while you finish this whole “getting dressed” business.

You done?  Good.  Pick me up, you know where to go.  Aaaahh, that’s right: warm milk and Elmo’s world is the perfect way to start your day.  I think I’ll sit here for a while. *two second later*  Okay, that’s enough of that.  Time to get on with the day!

I wonder if my toys are still the same?  I better empty every box and open every toy just in case there’s something new there this time.  Nope. Nothing new.  Okay, well, I’ll just double check….everything.   Oh hey, she’s up, I better cry and whine a lot to let her know I love her. Hey, I’ll do that smile thing she likes so much.  There we go, she likes it!  Maybe yank on her PJ pants just to make sure she knows.

Drinking and Driving.

Huh?  Breakfast? Yeah, I guess I could eat.  No, I don’t want the broccoli in the scrambled eggs, or the eggs, I’ll just have the toast and sausage today, thank you! Look I can eat all by myself, I even feed the dog by ‘accidentally’ dropping stuff.  Hey, yours looks even better.  Oh, and hey that’s that adult-not-for-kids coffee stuff.  I like that! I’ll just help myself to some of it before you notice.  Time to play, you do the clean-up.  Hey, where do you think you’re going?  You can’t use the toilet without me!  I need to be there and make sure you don’t fall into that big round white thingy. 

Look checking your email and reading those ‘blogs’ is really boring, so here I’ll pull you away and show you where the real action is: watching my color, or wiggle my bum to music, or even better, you get to watch me play with my toys!  Look how funny I am, you laugh every time I do.  And you’re constantly saying how cute I am, so you really must love to do nothing except watch me play with my toys.  I know, I’m awesome.  Yup!

Betch ya didn’t know I’ve got super powers.  When I put my blankie over my face I disappear!  I can hear you’re worried about me, and looking for me, but don’t worry, I can come back, see? And go again.  And come back. And go again… *several hours later* … And come back again. And go again.  And come back again.

Nap time? Why are you so happy all of a sudden?  Grab my blankie, and pick me up. Good Mama.  Where’s that thumb?  Oooh, I love that curvy spot where your neck meets your shoulder, maybe I’ll just nuzzle right in there.  Yeah, that’s nice.  Cuddles are good.  *yawn* Ah yes, it’s song time…I like it when you sing ’cause I can sing along too.  What?  Okay g’night.  Love you too….

Saturday Smiles: Introduction

Sweater – made by my Babcia; Dress – Ruche; Belt – F21; Tights – Hue; Shoes – Payless.

It’s a new year and a new start, right?  Not only do I have a Mamahood series starting soo, but I’m starting a new regular post.  In addition to Tuesday In Review *which I haven’t been too consistent on, but I do save any reviews for Tuesdays* and Random Sundays *which I’m going to keep ’cause I like the hodge podge of silliness and ridiculousness* I’m starting a new regular post called Saturday Smiles.

I thought about doing an awkward and awesome kind of thing, but to tell you the truth I have a lot of awkward in my life.  I am one full awkward!   So instead, I’m going to list at least 3-5 things that made me smile the past week.  At least 3-5 things.

Here’s mine:
1. Chocolate – specifically intense dark mint chocolate
2. Fair trade organic coffee – got me through some slow mornings.
3. Baby hiding herself in the closet and saying “gone!”
4. Getting all kinds of cuddles from my little girl.
5. Getting three awesome foot massages from my Husband.

What are yours?  Link it up!
It’s my first time using Linky Tools, we’ll see how it goes and whether I keep it up.

Just Go With It

Kissy faces at Baby.

Cardi – Gap; Belt – thrifted; Dress – Ruche; Tights – Walmart; Boots – Locale.

Is it wrong that I don’t want to shop?  ‘Cause I don’t.  I have a bit of X-mas and B-day money saved up and stored, but I really don’t want to buy anything.  I see all the beautiful sales, both online and in store, on some great pants, and dresses, but I don’t have the urge to get anything.   Is that weird?  I think it’s a bit weird for me.  Usually, there are at least a few things that I have my eye on, but right now even those things are on sales but I’m like, “meh.”

It’s not a bad feeling, just an odd one right now.  But I’ll go with it.

I’m sad to see things go though, like this cardi.  You can’t tell so much in the photos but it’s been washed until it looks horrible, and the wool is pilling.  So I think it’s going into the donate pile.  Alas, it’s been a good dear friend, but all good things…

True Story:
Baby grunts when she poos.  
And we think it’s funny, so we laugh.
Now she grunts randomly to get a laugh. 
Cause and effect.

First Solo Mission

Sweater – swapped; Dress – Ruche; Tights – Hue; Boots – Locale.

So you know how yesterday I said that I tackled my first sewing project with my brand new sewing machine?  Well, this is the result of what I did. 

As I mentioned, I felt the dress was a tad too short for my comfort, so I wanted to let down the hem.  It wasn’t as easy as it sounded.  See that top horizontal pleat?  Well, it was completely attached to the dress, so first I had to remove the whole thing.  Then open it making it a double horizontal pleat, and iron it.  Then I had to attached it back onto the dress, with a finished stitch so it doesn’t fray.  And lastly, I had to fold the hem and finish the new hem of the dress.  

It just looks like there were meant to be two double pleats now.  And I felt so great wearing it: proud and finally comfortable with the length! It’s amazing what three inches can do.   I think I did pretty well for my first solo mission. What do you think?

On a totally separate note…

I really, really need to find a martial arts school to study at.  I’ve been out of the studio for far too long and there’s only so much that self-motivation can do.  But my problem is two-fold.  One, I can’t find a place that I really like.  I’ve looked at probably a dozen schools all over Toronto to find an art that I really want to study.  I’ve tried Muay Thai, BJJ, Karate, Tai Kwon Do, MMA, Krav Maga, and various blends of these, and I have yet to find something that I love as much as Kung Fu.  So that’s my first and major dilemma.  Two, it has to be affordable.  I’m not rolling in wads of dollars, so the place I go to has to be affordable.  But the issue of fees is really secondary to finding something that I truly love.

You know what you want to do, and that you love doing it, but you’re having trouble finding a place that reflects you.  Have you ever felt that way?

Quote of Today:
“It’s amazing what three inches can do.”  
*Oh Lordy Lord! Sometimes I don’t realize what I’m saying until it’s too late*

First Sewing Project: Letting Down A Hem

Here’s my sewing machine.  It’s a Brother LS-30.  The model is two years old, but the machine itself it brand new.  And so far it’s been really fun to use.  I had some frustration with the bobbin and how to insert, latch and thread it, but once I figured it out it was easy.

For my first sewing project I tackled the hem of this dress.  I had lamented that I really like this Ruche dress but that I felt it was too short for me.  And as many of you stated, it’s not too short, but it does come down to my comfort; so I decided to use my fancy new machine to address this little issue.

I first had to remove the whole hem since it was sewn together.  Then I ironed it flat, sewed it back onto the dress with a finishing stitch so that it doesn’t fray, and then turned up and hemmed the bottom.  And done!  Now my dress is about three inches longer and I’m loving it!  It’s amazing what three inches will do.

Outfit post with this new length coming up real soon.

Quote of Today:
“I don’t want to throw the bomb. You do it for me.”

Tuesday In Review: The Legend Of Zelda Skyward Sword

I love games.  However, I’m more of a board game, strategy, puzzle kind of gamer.  I love to play Civilization, solve jigsaws, crosswords, and sudokus.  I hate fighting games.  I love to fight and train in martial arts, but the game fighting has no appeal.  Which is why I had been so resistant to Husband bugging me to play Zelda The Legend of Skyward Sword.  I have to say that I’m glad he did.

I love Zelda!  The adventure, the puzzles the exploring…especially the exploring.  I love that.  Husband says I’m anal about it because I explore every possible thing and do every possible side mission etc.  I figure that’s what it’s all about – getting the greatest and fullest experience from the game possible.  So that’s what I’m doing.

I still don’t like the fighting, not in the least, but at least there’s not too much of it.  And the intuitive controls of the Nintendo Wii make it a lot easier and user friendly for a non-gamer like myself rather then the button mashing and arrow pointing of other controllers.  Plus, it’s not so pervasive that it turns a non-gamer off, and it’s not so rare that it turns someone who likes it off too.

I like that the game has a nice balance of all these different elements,  It’s really a fun adventure game, and that has a huge appeal.  I must say though,  all the silly talking the other characters do gets on my nerves, but I’m not very patient when it comes to that sort of thing.

True Story:
Baby launched herself off the couch.  
Spread eagle style. 
Right into her toys. 
Cue: baby screaming.

Sloth Is Possibly The Best Sin

Hoodie & Pants – Lululemon; Tee – Delias.

New Years Day was spent recovering.  Recovering from the holidays.  I over did a lot of things in the past two weeks, not to mention New Years Eve, so the day was spent dealing with the aftermath.  I wasn’t so much hung over as headachy, crampy *from that thing, you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout girls*, tired *because Drake the dog over did it too and puked in the middle of the night*, and just plain grouchy *because I’m still not over my big birthday milestone*

I most definitely was not in my finest form.  Hence, the hoodie and workout pants. And the face hidden in these pics is due to the no make-up or hair thing.  The Einstein shirt was there in the hopes that I might gleam even just a tiny bit of my lost brain cells through osmosis.  Don’t think it worked though.

I spent the day playing Civilization on my computer *as if you didn’t think I was a big enough nerd with my vast assortment of Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek, Buffy, Supernatural, and Firefly DVDs,* drinking lots of water, and then….*I hesitate to admit* playing Zelda the Legend of Skyward Sword on Wii. 

We’re bad parents, but it’s our Christmas holidays too.  So we’ll be back to attentive parenting within a few days.

Oh wait!  I did do something productive/redemptive!  I fixed the hem on a dress that needed lengthening and finally used my new sewing machine *I’ll show you the fruits of that labor soon*  and I went for a run!  It was a short run, just 45 minutes, but nevertheless I did one!  Did I redeem myself even just a little???

And if you’re looking for something to do, go here to see some fun shots from a shoot I did in the summer.

Quote of Today:
“Do I fly the bug thingy?”

Happy New Year!

Top – hand me down; Dress – Ruche; Tights – Hue; Shoes – Payless.

Hope you all had a great night!  Husband and I stayed in yesterday and had a totally lazy day.  It was wonderful!  We spent New Years Eve drinking red wine, eating chocolate and I even did some sewing played Zelda on the Wii.  I know, we’re absolutely wild!  Wild, I tell you!

It’s a New Year and it’s a fresh start.  I’ve definitely got some goals this year, and I’m hoping I’ll achieve them, but as they say, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”  So we’ll see where I’ll be this time next year.  But one thing that I’m committed to this year in this blog is fun!  Hope you’ll join me!  I’m excited to introduce a new regular post to you on Saturdays, stay tuned for that.

About mid-January I’m running a new series about Mamahood.  I’ve got some great Mama bloggers lined up to share with you their journey in Mamahood – the truth and nothing but the truth.  You’ll hear about the good things and the bad things – all cards on the table.  Hopefully, you’ll see yourself in this and realize that you’re not alone.  I certainly find it reassuring that other women have the same thoughts that I do.  It’s often dis-heartening to me to read about Mama bloggers who love every minute and never have a bad thought or experience. It makes me wonder, “What’s wrong with me?  Why don’t I love every single second? Am I a bad mother/woman?”  But hearing some of these women’s stories makes me realize that I’m not alone.  It’s not all cupcakes and butterfly kisses.  It’s also temper tantrums, sleeplessness and wanting to pull your hair out.  So I look forward to reading and sharing these women’s true stories of Mamahood. Keep an eye out for that mid-January.

And I’m so glad I got a sewing machine. Yes, Andrew  *it’s time he got a name since he’s always bugging me to be in the blog I no longer have to protect his privacy* bought me one for my birthday and I’ll show you that beauty soon.  I’m glad not just because I’m excited to get better at making my own stuff, but also because this dress above is starting to fray.  I’ve worn and abused it so much that it’s starting to show the results of my loving wear.  So, I guess I’ll be fixing that up real soon!

Quote of Today:
“You won’t give her another cookie, but you’ll give her alcohol?”

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