I’m crying!  Heeeeeello I’m crying!  When is someone going to come get me?  I’m not going back to sleep, I’m up and I want you to com get me!!  It’s Elmo time!

Finally, he comes into my room to get me, she’s probably still sleeping.  Sheesh.

Okay seriously Dad, what do you think you’re doing?  Would you like to be plunked down on a cold futon and have your pants taken off first thing in the morning?  Dude, it’s cold!  I don’t want my bum changed, I don’t care if I’m soaking wet.  It’s cold and I don’t…seriously??  Now you’re taking off the rest of my cozy PJs, are you nuts?!?!  No I don’t want to get changed.  No I don’t want to put on cold clothes, what was wrong with those?  Fine.  You suck.  I’m going to suck my thumb and give you a dirty look while you finish this whole “getting dressed” business.

You done?  Good.  Pick me up, you know where to go.  Aaaahh, that’s right: warm milk and Elmo’s world is the perfect way to start your day.  I think I’ll sit here for a while. *two second later*  Okay, that’s enough of that.  Time to get on with the day!

I wonder if my toys are still the same?  I better empty every box and open every toy just in case there’s something new there this time.  Nope. Nothing new.  Okay, well, I’ll just double check….everything.   Oh hey, she’s up, I better cry and whine a lot to let her know I love her. Hey, I’ll do that smile thing she likes so much.  There we go, she likes it!  Maybe yank on her PJ pants just to make sure she knows.

Drinking and Driving.

Huh?  Breakfast? Yeah, I guess I could eat.  No, I don’t want the broccoli in the scrambled eggs, or the eggs, I’ll just have the toast and sausage today, thank you! Look I can eat all by myself, I even feed the dog by ‘accidentally’ dropping stuff.  Hey, yours looks even better.  Oh, and hey that’s that adult-not-for-kids coffee stuff.  I like that! I’ll just help myself to some of it before you notice.  Time to play, you do the clean-up.  Hey, where do you think you’re going?  You can’t use the toilet without me!  I need to be there and make sure you don’t fall into that big round white thingy. 

Look checking your email and reading those ‘blogs’ is really boring, so here I’ll pull you away and show you where the real action is: watching my color, or wiggle my bum to music, or even better, you get to watch me play with my toys!  Look how funny I am, you laugh every time I do.  And you’re constantly saying how cute I am, so you really must love to do nothing except watch me play with my toys.  I know, I’m awesome.  Yup!

Betch ya didn’t know I’ve got super powers.  When I put my blankie over my face I disappear!  I can hear you’re worried about me, and looking for me, but don’t worry, I can come back, see? And go again.  And come back. And go again… *several hours later* … And come back again. And go again.  And come back again.

Nap time? Why are you so happy all of a sudden?  Grab my blankie, and pick me up. Good Mama.  Where’s that thumb?  Oooh, I love that curvy spot where your neck meets your shoulder, maybe I’ll just nuzzle right in there.  Yeah, that’s nice.  Cuddles are good.  *yawn* Ah yes, it’s song time…I like it when you sing ’cause I can sing along too.  What?  Okay g’night.  Love you too….