Moda Mama

Who Will I Be Tomorrow?

October 21, 2015
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6 COMMENTS

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Cold.

But the wind was blowing, and the lake was speaking.
Everywhere change was in the air.
There’s a celebration of life in this dying of the summer.
The realization that all things must end, change, and be born again.
Nothing remains the same.
I adore the endless possibilities. I embrace the freedom.
Who will I be tomorrow?

Maxi – Spell Designs // Necklace – Natalie B. via ThreadSence // Scarf – Kish&Evie // Boots – Browns // Rings – heirlooms (left hand) and from ThreadSence (right hand)

Honest Straight Shooter

October 16, 2015
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4 COMMENTS

I don’t like it when I think too much about others expectations of me.
It’s a trap! *and I said that like in Star Wars, by the way*
But you know, sometimes I fall into it as well. I become a little too preoccupied with playing the game, or behaving how others expect me too. And then I get frustrated and grumpy.

It takes a while, but usually I figure out why this is. Then I have to right the train.
Now I’m not talking major things here. Just little things. But still, they add up.

It’s usually a matter of a few honest conversations – no biggie. Nothing earth shattering, or life changing, just a matter of, “Hey, this is where I’m at and this is what I think.”

Because to be fair. I’m a straight shooter. Mostly because I have neither the energy, nor the inclination, to be anything but.

Anything else feels inauthentic.

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Dress – Spell Designs // Jacket – F21 // Necklace – gift from Poland // Boots – thrifted

Butterflies and Muscles Cars

September 23, 2015
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At a street festival, there was a booth that was giving away balloons and stickers. My Girl walked up and got a red balloon then stood in the line for stickers. When her time came, the lady held out a large sheet of butterfly stickers. My girl, ever observant, walked right past her and pointed to the other sheet – the sheet of stickers with cars and trucks on them.

Slightly surprised the lady reached for that sheet and my girl selected a muscle car sticker. A purple muscle car.

I thought:

A) Way to buck gender stereotypes!
B) Way to confidently, and still politely, ask for what you want.
C) The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’ll take purple muscle cars over butterflies any day.

Dress – Ruche // Necklace – Lucky Brand // Rings – Fair Trade and F21 // Sandals – c/o Easy Spirit

Don’t Text, Call.

September 10, 2015
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2 COMMENTS

I used to hate the phone. I hated it because you couldn’t see the person when you talked to them.
I love those moments when you sit – coffee shop, park, whatever – and a silence falls.

People fear silence, but I love it. There’s a silence that happens when there is comfort. There’s a silence that happens when you sit with someone – friend or lover – and neither of you feels the need to speak but can instead sit there in each others presence.

That is the best. But now texting has come. And I text a lot. A lot. And I miss the phone. I find myself missing the call and talking to someone. Hearing their voice and hearing the silence. Texting is even further away from that elusive presence sitting.

So call me. Don’t text. Don’t ever text.

Dress – Arnhem // Belt – Hadley Pollet *thrifted*

The Kiss

September 9, 2015
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2 COMMENTS

Kiss. The kiss.
Lips touch and universes are born. That’s how kisses should be.

They can be tender. Passionate. Desperate.
Gentle. Rough. Playful.
Romantic. Soft.

But whatever they are, whatever you make them, make them moments when two people come together for a brief moment in time.
Make them moments that freeze a heartbeat.

Make them moments when universes are born. Even if only for just one brief second.

Go kiss someone.

Dress – Arnhem // Sandals – c/o Easy Spirit // Sunnies – F21 // Necklace – gift from my Babcia

*linking up with Not Dressed*

Port Dover Arts Festival

August 24, 2015
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2 COMMENTS

On the weekend we were there, Port Dover held an arts festival. Antiques, artisan, and unique vendors all got a chance to showcase their wares.

A large portion of the main street was closed to traffic, and the booths continued into the park. It was lovely to walk and wander and see everything.

I even picked up a handmade unique scarf that I’ll showcase once the weather gets cold enough….sheesh, I don’t even want to think about that!

Maxi Dress – Spell // Sunnies – Lace Affair // Sandals – Threadsence

Castaway

August 19, 2015
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1 COMMENT

The day alternated between sudden bursts of rain – darkening the skies and raising the winds to a howling volume – to the gentle warmth of the sunshine bright and warm on the skin.

Either way, the private beach, our view for three days, was perfect. Down from the road, it felt like an isolated island in a series of magical little islands. I stood there imagining I was in another world. A world of tropical breezes, sun kissed skin, and the languorous arms of a lover wrapped around you.

Perfection, no matter how you define it.

Dress – Spell Designs // Belt – Guess // Necklace – TopShop

A Millions Things….

July 30, 2015
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…go wrong. Everyday. You wake up with a certain expectation of the day, at least I do, and everyday it turns out different. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, and sometimes just different.

So how do we deal with it? Get angry that the day didn’t turn out as we wanted? Yeah, sometimes I do that. I wish I didn’t though. I wish I didn’t put expectations on a day. But that the curse of humanity isn’t it? A desire to control what is impossible to control. I’m trying, emphasis on ‘trying’, to take the day as it comes. Still have goals, but realize that the unexpected and the beautiful can intrude on those days. Can intercede and either cause wonder or frustration.

I’m trying to be okay with that.

Dress – Guess *veeery old* // Hat – ThreadSence // Sunnies – F21 // Necklace & Rings – various shops that I forget, sorry.

Are You Sexy?

July 8, 2015
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9 COMMENTS

Sexy. That’s always been a hard one for me. I’ll admit it. I had this idea of what a sexy woman was, and frankly, I imagined it as far removed from me as the sun is from Pluto….so veeeeery far. I know that logically, this is silly. We’re all humans, therefore sexual beings, therefore sexy. But I ain’t talkin’ ’bout logic here. I’m talking feelings and self-image.

Cute. That was how I have always been described, and how I always think of myself. Cute. Smart. Girl next door. All good things, and I never had an issue with them. Just as you can tell, not sexy. Frankly, it has always confounded me.

But now, I’m sexy! No I’m totally kidding you. I still don’t really think of myself that way. I still think of myself as dorky, smart, cute, and well frankly awkward *Who’s got a talent for putting her foot in her mouth? ME!* But now, I think I’m accepting things a bit more, like I mentioned in this post about being past thirty.

There’s a fake construct of sexy in my head created by the world I live in, and there’s a self-perception of myself created by me growing up in said world. And I’m recognizing the two for what they are. Doesn’t mean they’ve changed or gone away, just means that hopefully their power over me is a little diminished.

It’s made me start to consciously reframe what ‘sexy’ means to me. I’m trying to/starting to see it as an energetic sucking the marrow out of life, combined with a playfullness, and comfortable acceptance of ones physical self. It’s also made me look at the people in my life with this eye and it’s made me realize that damn! I’ve got a lot of sexy friends.

Dress – Spell Designs // Necklace & Sandals – ThreadSence // Belt – F21

I Lost a Friend…(An Ode to My Friends)

July 6, 2015
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4 COMMENTS

….a year ago. She didn’t pass, she just decided to stop being friends with me. I haven’t spoken on this site about it at all because there is privacy which I like to retain once in a while. And I’m not really going to speak on it here, except as context.

She was my best friend. She was someone I considered a sister, and her abrupt and complete departure from my life shocked me, betrayed me, and left me with a hole. Not wanting sympathy here, just giving you context.

Since then.

Since then, I’ve organically gone outside myself. The many times I would’ve spent with her, I have started spending reaching out and getting to know others. Over the last year and a half, I’ve forged real and strong relationships with a variety of people. I’ve come to know a great many wonderful persons, who each bring something different into my life and who each excite me in a variety of ways.

I write this now, because I realized today that I’ve been stretched beyond my energy this week. How have I been stretched? In the most wonderful of ways. By the beautiful people I know who have reached out to me to spend time together. And I’ve realized that there is no longer a hole. There is only a blessing. I am blessed to have so many people that make me laugh, that touch my heart, and that accept and love me as I am, and want to spend time with me.

To any of you who’ve been dancing with me, rehearsed with me, played games with me, or had a drink with me: Gratitude. You are not taken for granted. You are appreciated.

“My cup runneth over.”