Sexy. That’s always been a hard one for me. I’ll admit it. I had this idea of what a sexy woman was, and frankly, I imagined it as far removed from me as the sun is from Pluto….so veeeeery far. I know that logically, this is silly. We’re all humans, therefore sexual beings, therefore sexy. But I ain’t talkin’ ’bout logic here. I’m talking feelings and self-image.
Cute. That was how I have always been described, and how I always think of myself. Cute. Smart. Girl next door. All good things, and I never had an issue with them. Just as you can tell, not sexy. Frankly, it has always confounded me.
But now, I’m sexy! No I’m totally kidding you. I still don’t really think of myself that way. I still think of myself as dorky, smart, cute, and well frankly awkward *Who’s got a talent for putting her foot in her mouth? ME!* But now, I think I’m accepting things a bit more, like I mentioned in this post about being past thirty.
There’s a fake construct of sexy in my head created by the world I live in, and there’s a self-perception of myself created by me growing up in said world. And I’m recognizing the two for what they are. Doesn’t mean they’ve changed or gone away, just means that hopefully their power over me is a little diminished.
It’s made me start to consciously reframe what ‘sexy’ means to me. I’m trying to/starting to see it as an energetic sucking the marrow out of life, combined with a playfullness, and comfortable acceptance of ones physical self. It’s also made me look at the people in my life with this eye and it’s made me realize that damn! I’ve got a lot of sexy friends.
Carolynn MarkeyJuly 8, 2015
what I think you are totally sexy 🙂 Although what I find myself most attracted to is your personality. I think that is the main reason I read your blog, your personality is interesting and vivacious, even more so then your outfit photos. I mean, the photos are great, but they would be kinda boring without the little bits of you sprinkled all over.
Joanna HaughtonJuly 8, 2015
Ha, thanks! And I'm glad that my personality comes through. Sometimes it's so hard to fully express your tone through print. But I do my best to be positive, but still sardonically sarcastic – 'cause that's the honest me.
Dalayna DillonJuly 8, 2015
I have to agree… the world/society has painted a dramatic interpretation of the word "sexy." So much so that I would say many woman can't see themselves in the same vocabulary with that word. It makes woman feel awkward about what should be a completely healthy view of themselves.
Joanna HaughtonJuly 12, 2015
I wholeheartedly agree. Women should see themselves as sexy, but we have such difficulty unless we look like the perfect Victoria's Secret vamp.
ZZJuly 9, 2015
Vivacious, perfect word for her Carolynn, yes. And sexy of course!
Joanna HaughtonJuly 12, 2015
Haha. Thanks. 🙂
Chanelle KimJuly 16, 2015
You look totally sexy and chic in this shoot! I always feel "embarrassed" and a little self-conscious after I click "Post" when it includes pictures of me or my OOTD photos. But you're right. We've just gotta be comfortable with ourselves… and OWN it! 😉 (ok, that was my pep talk!)
Joanna HaughtonJuly 17, 2015
Great pep talk. We do have to own it. We as women are sexy and we've just been deluded because we're not photoshopped ideals.
Wearing a Dress As A Skirt, But That Bag, Though – Moda MamaMarch 23, 2016
[…] secret, or tip, with you. See my skirt? It’s actually the Spell dress from the post about being sexy, but as you know I’m always looking for getting that extra mileage out of clothes, so […]