Following up on yesterday’s post. The mental and emotional journey was staggering over the last month. I spent a lot of time crying, and feeling sad. I was terrified that it would be a chronic or long term condition which had me really blue because all I saw were the things that I wouldn’t get to do.
Then came a point where I suddenly saw my old life (what came before this illness) and what I had, and was incredibly grateful for that. I had so much life, so much freedom, and so much to be grateful for. All I wanted was to get back to that. So once I started to feel better, I was excited that I would get that old life back.
And now, for all intents and purposes, I do. So that makes me happy. I have so much freedom to do what I love and have amazing experiences. But I do feel moments where the old downer thoughts – that I’m not booking enough as an actor or photographer – and the doubts – that I’m not good enough as a person, actor, photographer – try to creep back in. It’s hard. We all have a “Negative Nancy” as my naturopath calls her. And I know we all have our ways of managing her. I’m just trying to figure out a way to hang on to those feelings of gratitude and appreciation, rather than allowing Negative Nancy a megaphone.
How do you stay grateful? And what things do you use to keep Negative Nancy at bay?