Recently, I went to a play. *Not going to say which one, I’m not a TOTAL s**t, despite what you might think* And I sat at the back and watched the actors until I got bored.
Then I watched the audience. I watched them laugh and cry and thought to myself, “Why the f**k are you people laughing and crying? They’re not even genuine emotions.”
One, it gets really hard as an actor watching other actors fake s**t. Then when I see the audience react to it, I wonder what’s wrong with them. Why are they taken in by this superficial acting? Then, naturally, I start wondering what’s wrong with me? Because I’m neurotic with all the natural anxious tendencies that come with this *I’m exaggerating, but with anxiety comes the fear that there’s always something wrong with you* But then I think again, and no, there’s definitely something wrong with you….or else you’ve had nowhere to express the pain/sadness/grief you’re feeling so here’s your chance.
And then everything’s all right with the world again.
Until I have to clap for this crap.