Cleaning up after dinner, I reached down and squeezed my little girl’s bum.
“Mama, why you do that?”
“‘Cause I like your bum. It’s beautiful.”
“No Mama, my bum’s not beautiful.”
“No?”
“No. ‘Cause bums are stinky and farty.”
“Okay, well I still think it’s beautiful.”
“Maaaama,” she says shaking her head.