What We Choose to See…

…is often far from the truth.

You know that story. Everyone talks about it. That when you start dating someone, it takes three months for their reals selves to start to emerge. At first they’re on their best behavior but then they let down their guard. It happens in friendships too. And though I understand and even respect the inclination, it isn’t until the facade starts to go down that I get interested. I like the faults, the flaws, the cracks in the china – so to speak. I don’t really want to see the perfect face you show because the flaws are so much more alive and fascinating and frankly – perfect.

Those in my life are all a little damaged. Which might be harmful to say, but the truth is we’re all a little damaged. The ones I love all have their cracks, all have the weird ways that they’ve been broken and put back together. But as long as love, compassion, kindness, loyalty, and understanding are part of their make up – then they’re part of my tribe. I’d like to think I give that back too.

What we choose to see shows more about our desires than it does about the person. You can see their true selves just itching to get out. So see it, without self delusion and decide if that’s what you can love. If not, move on.

Maybe this is why I don’t do well with small talk.