Not Throwing Away Goes for People Too

“Many people in our lives seem to grow obsolete. For a while they are useful, interest us, stimulate us. Then they lose their importance and we forget them. …This is the throw-away style. What we do not need, we dispose of. Cynical as this may sound, this attitude is, with subtler and less brutal variations, is carried over to human relationships.” – Pierro Ferrucci

Someone shows to be not perfect or have some trouble, so you dump them. Move on to the next. A friend shows a side or a bad habit that you don’t like, so you stop hanging out with them. Another loved one does something that hurts you so you cut them off. This is the throw-away style. Guess what? No one is perfect. Everyone screws up. Everyone in your life will hurt you at some point: intentionally or not. You don’t throw away, you deal with it. Talk, discuss, and resolve. It’s truly the only way to a true relationship and true intimacy. If you constantly throw someone away, is it any wonder you’re alone? Is it any wonder you wake up alone?

Now, we’re not talking about people who are genuinely bad for you or are genuinely not respecting your friendship. I’m certainly not talking about abusers – physical and domestic abuse should never be tolerated. I’m talking about everyday stuff, not the stuff that gets you arrested. Don’t write me about that.

Not surprisingly, not throwing people away goes both ways. You don’t throw people away, and hopefully, they don’t throw you away. True friendship, true relationship, is there through the tough times, the not pleasant times as well. A friend who’s only with you when things are good, and when you’re super pleasant is nice, but a true friend stays when you’re not. Those people who stick by us when we are not fun when we are in pain, they show us the true mettle of who they are. And vice versa, those who turn away, who abandon you, show their true colors as well.