Most of this comes from the Iliza book, but is expanded and expounded on by me:
Let’s talk about the idea that if you receive an invitation to someone’s house, “act like a person and bring a gift.” Gonna agree with that. I think it’s something that’s been lost somewhere along the way. But generally, treat all get-togethers as either potlucks or bring a gift. Casual hangout? Bring some drinks and bring something to share. I never like to assume that whoever’s house it is, is responsible for providing food and drink. I assume they are responsible for providing me water and somewhere to use the restroom. If someone offers you stuff, don’t be an ass and eat/drink all of it yourself – I remember my Babcia always telling me, “Have some but never all, it’s rude to assume.” As in, they might have just shared with you everything they have, so don’t assume that they can afford more. That covers casual.
Now for the more formal, bring a gift. Doesn’t have to be fancy: homemade, candle, bottle of wine. Whatever. If you’re a friend and I know you like it, I’ll likely bring home-grown weed in a mason jar. If you get it wrong, that’s okay – re-gifting!
And a final note, don’t ask what to bring – just do it, or ask them to pick between options. Ex. “Should I bring cookies or a veggie dip?” It puts the host in an awkward position because I never want to give my guests orders, nor do I want them to feel that they can’t come if they don’t have something (because life happens to us all at times). So just assume that if specific instructions weren’t given, you should just decide.
That’s the end of my Emily Post Etiquette school. Ignore me if you want.
Dress – Zara *thrifted*
Shoes – Adidas *thrifted*
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