You’ll hear about the joys of Motherhood. The glory, the cupcakes. The effin’ cupcakes. You’ll imagine yourself as a June Cleaver sort. *Because we’re engrained with female stereotypes – but this post isn’t about that…this time* Perfectly coiffed and glowing all the time.
But the reality is far from it. There are no cupcakes. Geez, I would kill for some cupcakes right now. What is there? What is the reality?
The reality is that you’ll have urine on your hands from your girl’s bathroom accidents, and then realize that it’s in your hair because you brushed it from your face before you washed. Oh, and it’s on your face now too.
The reality is that you’ll be on all fours reaching around your dogs nether regions to cut out the urine matted tangles so that he is clean and groomed. I’m not sure the Cleavers ever had a dog, but I’m pretty sure that if they did June never did that. Bet she never had her nose far too close to her dogs penis in an attempted to cut out that awkward tangle yet still not actually cut the dog’s skin. Nope, pretty sure June never did that.
At least I wore pearl earrings while doing it.
P.s. For What Rules next week we’re mixing polka dots…with any other pattern you want.