Cardi – Esprit; Dress – Ruche (sold out); Tights – Walmart; Boots – Locale; Bag – Matt by Matt&Nat; Belt – ??.

I don’t like getting older. In fact,  I hate the prospect.  I know I should embrace it, yadda, yadda, yadda, but I don’t want to get older.  I don’t want to get wrinkles.  I don’t want grey hair.  I don’t want to have to harness my boobs to keep them up. Etc. Etc. When I do, I’ll deal with it and try to age gracefully, but I don’t want to get older.   I want to have my current mind but go back in time physically to 21…and stay there.

I’m thinking I might have to become an immortal, you know like the Highlander.   And the awesome bonus is that I’d have a reason to always carry a sword!  I’m a big fan of swords; I own and study several kinds.   Plus, there are thousands of ways to accessorize that trench coat he uses to hide the sword, and I could do each and every one of them! 

Yeah, I know.  It’s not going to happen.  I get it.  All I’m saying is, I hate getting older.

And it’s not just the physical.  I hate it because I had a very different picture of what my life would be like right now.  Some of it is better, some of it isn’t.  Some of it is better than I imagine, but some of it is also worse.  I had a lot of things I wanted to achieve by a certain time.  Yes, I can still do a lot of those things, but some I can’t.  Some of them have a time limit, and that’s just how it is.  So I’m trying to somehow accept and embrace the reality of what is and look at all the things still ahead of me. 

But I’m having trouble.  Maybe it’s a character failing, but I really feel like my twenties slipped through my grasp, like I look back and I can’t even remember where they went and why things happened the way they did.